NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
