So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
