woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
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Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
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Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
we should paint friendship bongs
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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