If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
