I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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