In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
