omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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