put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
