beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Drake has all the answers
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
