We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
