She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize