He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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