The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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