dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
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