well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
