I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
