well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
