Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
