fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
In other news, I just burned my penis
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
