I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
