last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
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