that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
