There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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