i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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