I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
