We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
