suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
