Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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