He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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