If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
