he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
