Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
