Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just high enough for therapy.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
