omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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