well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
