I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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