That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
