Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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