Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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