he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
