I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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