The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
should my penis look like a turkey
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
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