I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
