I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
