Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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