Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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