Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
