Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
