I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize