i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
