Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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