She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
