Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
