I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
