Can i not drive my cunt home
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
