Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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