i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
