this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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