Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
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