Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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