she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize