The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
