pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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