I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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